Real Life-Work Balance
A common issue for many people who work in a modern business setting is maintaining a work-life balance. World-renowned hospitals such as the Mayo Clinic detail health risks associated with out-of-balance work life. Mayo states, “Technology that enables constant connection can allow work to bleed into your time at home. Working from home also can blur professional and personal boundaries.”[1] But this formulation puts work first and life second.
Instead, what people really want is a life-work balance.
We want a life that balances our work in our lives, not the other way around.
Life and work take place in organizations. We live and work in groups of people, a family, a network of friends, social organizations, common interest groups, businesses, cities, and nations. Within these nested groups, people vie for power and control.
Every group establishes a hierarchy within a network of relationships. Parents have more authority than their children, and they should use it properly. CEOs are instrumental in their company’s success and failure. A President or Prime Minister has the responsibility to manage and steward the resources of a nation.
In some nations, leaders are promoted based on a monarchial dynasty or dictatorial coup. In democratic nations, leaders are voted into and out of office, but their eligibility and financial support are the subjects of political, party, and ideological struggles.
All groups consist of both hierarchy and networks.
A hierarchy can be viewed as a pyramid.
A network can be viewed as a hub and spokes within a series of concentric circles.
The means of selection by a group of any leader is often determined by a preservation instinct of those at the top or center of it. Within each group, there are Insiders, Members, and Outsiders. Insiders control the group. Members are a part of it. And Outsiders influence it from the edges. If we look at the competition for power in a group as a game the Players are insiders, Spectators are members, and Referees are outsiders. If the group is an army the Generals play the inside game, Troopers are participating members, and Special Forces Operators scout the enemy and execute plans outside the norm.
One way to see the distinctions between the three categories is in relation to their point of focus.
In our recent podcast, John Hardy and I discussed the Platonic ideals versus the Aristotelian focus on reality. John asks us to take a continuum of the world from the material to the spiritual. The Players focus on the material. Spectators care about how the material world affects their spirit. Referees consider the rules and boundaries of the game.
A general is concerned with winning the war even at the expense of the lives of soldiers. Troopers are trained to follow orders even at the cost of their own lives. Operators are often seen as elevated Troopers, however, their ability to exact damage without losing their own lives is disproportionate to that of soldiers. A commando has loyalty to their team that supersedes that of the organization, and only when Generals put them in positions where their own actions support that of the organization are they effective in accomplishing the goals of the group. Julie Galef associates the soldier mentality of the Trooper with motivated reasoning and bias, while her view of the scout as someone who observes and sees clearly is similar but not exactly the same as the Operator who can gather intel and act on it.[2]
In succession, a pure Insider cares entirely about winning. Members are caught in between their desire to win and their limitations, suppression, and personal interests. Outsiders watch this taking place from the boundaries of the organization, participating at times, possibly intervening but never committing to the larger group.
The Insider has the most extreme material perspective. All that exists for the Insider is an external, tangible reality, and their own view of it.
In the case of the Outsider, they are strongly connected to the spiritual, and therefore regard themselves as merely an outer extension, or reflection, of the intentions of the group.
In between, we have the Members who are in a sense far more variable. Whereas the Insider is fixed in the material, the Outsider is fixed in the spiritual, The Member will oscillate in between these two states moving between external and internal concerns. They partially want to win, but they are also rooting for superstars who are playing the game.
Gravity in our current epoch pulls in a natural direction towards the material, the tangible, the finite, the ground.
Therefore, under these present and normal circumstances, Members are far more susceptible to the influence of the Insiders than to that of Outsiders. Soldiers respond to the orders of Generals rather than the needs of Operators. Spectators watch Players not Referees and cheer for their team when their favorite jersey number scores a goal, basket, or touchdown.
Being caught in the middle, the majority of employees are Members. Every organization needs Members. Every team needs Spectators. Every army needs Troopers. But soldiers need a life after war. And employees need to be able to go home to their families. Therefore, the best way to achieve a life-work balance is to cheer for your team but don’t lose sleep when they lose.
You can’t find another family, but you can join another team, therefore the one group you should be most committed to is your spouse and children. This is your life, and it always weighs more than your work.
[1] https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/work-life-balance/art-20048134
[2] Galef, J. (2021). The Scout Mindset: Why Some People See Things Clearly and Others Don't. Penguin.